Tuesday, 11 August 2009


I'm in Georgia! I made it and I'm so excited to go to Valdosta! the plane ride was hell but I was checked out by like 1234676432365432 guys bahaha. My mum kept pointing them out. and then I got put next to a cute guy from wales:) on the second plane. I was like SCORE! bahaha. and then I watched some poor kid getting verbally annoyed by this creeper guy who looked like Seth from superbad. and then some other guy told him off for making a rude comment about his child. haha. it was all good fun.

I'm excited I get to see Kelly...
this whole time change thing is weird
this day is weird
this feels like I went on a really long vacation and am now home again
I'm freaking out man...

I miss England..

Friday, 7 August 2009


Finally came to a realization.
it's over, completely.

If my heart was a house..

you'de be home:)

I'm in such a good mood today:D! i don't even know why...
I just want to give everyone I see a huge hug
I'm pretty sure I get to see everyone tomorrow, that I want to see:)


Thursday, 6 August 2009

I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes

I'm sad I'm moving.

I spent the day with the lovely Karissa Mae today:)

why are boys so crazy.

all of you!


meh, I feel better though.
about him..

3 more days.

Tuesday, 4 August 2009


I've decided I am going to start creating a list of all the England people that have impacted me in some way or another. If you're not on here, Don't be offended. But don't ask me to put you on there. I might add on to it.

Juliana: I feel like we have been friends for such a long time but I've only been hanging out with you this summer. Making videos with you is so fun. And and I love that I don't feel like such a stalker because you're just as nosy as I am. :] You are the only person I know that takes just as long as me to get ready, and wears just as much makeup and hairspray as I do, if not more. I love that we have so much in common and I always have fun when I'm with you. Even if we're both feeling like complete crap from stay awake so long and only having Amp in our system..haha. "energy drink hangovers." You got me hooked on A Day To Remember and their lyrics and how perfect they are for my situation. I am going miss our 12 am jogs, and talking southern at dominoes to PIOTR or however you spell it. And eating breakfast and being super lazy. Stealing hats from the sausage fest! you hiding under the table because you couldn't stop moving around. burning the voice box in the sponge bob balloon. and inhaling the helium and making videos "my name is Ron Weasley and my mum's a BABY MAKIN' MACHAYYYYNNNEEE!" NEVER GETTING PIZZA FROM THE LITTLE LAKENHEATH PLACE till your mum got it for us bahaha. STREAKING! and then needing to pee really bad so we failed. what happened at your house that we will never tell anyone about and it so embarassing to me but it's really funny at the same time;D this is going to suck not having you around. I really hope I get to see you again. I am going to miss you so much:(

Bloo: Wow. So much to say about you. I remember when got off the shuttle from the airport, and your dad was there. I found the stupidest joke book in your car. The jokes weren't even funny and my brother and I were saying he must have some pretty lame kids, or they're just too young to know that those joke were so lame. Little did I know, YOU were his son. ha. I remember seeing you with Chaz and Buffy at the Bob hope and I felt so gross cause I always feel like I need to shower after I get off a plane, and you walked by and I put my hood on and looked the opposite way so you wouldn't notice me. I remember you talking so loud on the bus every day for the first week. You would always say you were emo even though you were scene. And talk about how excited you were to meet "new hot girls" And no one really talked to me at school. And that Friday when you guys said something along the lines of "if you're cool come to the back of the bus" and my brother ran back there....and so I felt obligated to do the same. I was so quiet though, I was so scared to talk. And I was fed up with my brothers bullshit stories about everything, trying to sound cool. Buffy invited us to her house. And really we just ended up hanging out. You stole the electric sign for me, that I still have. We both didn't want my brother to be there. And then the first day I ate lunch with you I walked off cause you guys weren't talking to me and I felt awkward. And you thought I was mad at you. I remember the first time I met your mother.....CLAYTON! ha. and all the times at the tlf park. Chillin at buffy's house. all those times on that nastey aids mattress. haha. you brought sheets for me to lay on:) It was always so cold in there and I jus loved laying with you. The first time we got caught! I couldn't see you for forever and it was the saddest thing. All over our inside jokes. we had so many. And they never got old. the *Tolly Cobbold* one still makes me happy. And every t ime I watch family guy I think of BOOM, SHAKA LAKA.......BOOM. :) The Brandon house..even though my parents were on the verge of divorce it was still the happiest time I ever had with you. You didn't ever want me taking pictures of you so you just curled up in my blanket and hid from the camera. When we went to new market for the first time and you acted gay so that girls wouldn't look at you like a piece of meat.:) I LOVE CLAIRE'S! All the jeans and T-shirts you stole from me/told me to give them to you, and then told me that you felt like a girl. haha nice. All the times in my bed, weather that sounds bad or not. It was only place I ever wanted to be with you. it made me so happy all the time. It would always bug me though because I would make my bed. And it takes me so long to make it, and by the time you would leave everything would end up everywhere ha. So, I just stopped caring how my room looked. So did you ha. You tried forcing me to watch starwars. haha We never did end up watching it...:) I do realize that we fought a lot but I'm willing to look past all the bad times. I am happy I spent the past two years with you. Even if you regret it, and wish you spent it with your friends instead.I'm sorry for everything. It was fun while it lasted, and I hope you're happy with what your decision.

Karissa: You are such a blessing to the world. no matter if everything is going wrong in your life you still seem to stay positive and I admire that so much. You have helped me through one of the worst times in my life. I am so thankful to have someone like you in my life and I hope that we keep in contact because i'm always going to need someone like you. And you said "I'm like your eyeshadow, I'll always be there." haha I love you.

Betsy: You are so interesting. You are so mature for how young you are. You and your brother are truly the coolest siblings I know. You are the most amazing ginger I've ever met. I'm glad I met you in freshman PE. I felt so awkward and you and Britta were the only ones that talked to me. You are so easy to talk to and I love your style. Golf was the best<3

Britta: I'm also glad that I met you. You are also a lot more mature than your age. I have never seen someone text so much. I loved having you in chemistry while we cheated on everything together. ha. I'm going to miss golf next year with you guys but I'm sure it'll still be fun! just try not to ditch practice;)

Goober/Brandon: I'm happy that even though you've already moved, we still keep in touch. I'm sorry that I tried making you go on all the rides at Thorpe. You missed out though! thank you for being my bus buddy for all the senior activities that I felt awkward being a part of because I didn't really talk to many seniors. And all the ones I did talk to, had gf's or bf's lame. lolz. You are always so random and chill and I love that. You always want to steal my clothes, and that's kind of creepy but it's okay cause I love you still.

Candace: You are so much fun to be around! I can't believe we never met before Juliana's party! ha I wish we would've because you are so much fun. We are more alike than I thought we would be.

Bethany: WOW. our relationship went from hating each other and barely knowing each other to liking each other sort of and then hating each other and then to loving each other. haha. We have a lot in common. And we are going through a lot of the same situations. I'm glad I finally became friends with you because you have helped me with so much. I feel so blessed to have a person like you in my life. You really deserve more than you receive. I hope that every things goes well with Cody. I know how hard it is...But, you are such a good person and you don't need to be hurt. Make sure that you live it up in high school with no regrets. You're really fun to be around so I don't think you'll have any problems with that.:)

Drew: DREWWWW I actually cried saying good bye to you. You are so easy to talk to about things. You are the best drummer I have ever heard in my LIFE. I hope that you pursue that as a career, and I will be happy to say that I knew you once:) ha I hope I get to see you next summer since I missed you coming home by like 2 days! unbelievable. I hope you find a girl that doesn't fuck you over because you are a really nice guy and you deserve a lot<3

Josiah: Josiah Joyce.....You are very inspirational. I'm happy I finally met someone that likes all the music that I like. I love the way you dress. and the fact that you NEVER changed, like everyone else did. You are so talented and You will definitely get far in life. You will be missed.

Jonathan: You were the first person to talk to me on the first day of school, my junior year. That is actually a big deal for me, because NO ONE talked to me that entire day, except you. You asked if I was new and I asked how you knew that I was, and you said you could just tell. You are so sweet all the time. You always waved to me, and I felt so happy that I had a friend, And even though your creep ass stayed in the room while I was crying and changing on the night of the fight at chucks, I still forgive you because you were drunk and out of it. haha. You were there for me a lot and you told me I deserved so much better and I was surprised and so embarrassed because all my makeup was rubbing off and you said I looked beautiful anyways. You mean a lot to me, and even though you are so far away, I hope I get to see you again because you are a really amazing friend.

Andre: Andre! I'm so happy that you invited me to lunch with you and Karissa on my birthday because that was one of the best things anyone could have ever done. I was going through such a rough time and you helped me out a lot. That was a really good birthday and I have you to thank for that. Although the very last bit was pretty emotional but it's alright, you were there for me:) and I really appreciate that. I remember our wrestle fights and pillow fights, they were so violent! but so fun. I miss them, they were a super good work out ! bahaha. I'm going to miss you and your optimism.

John: John c00psterrrr You are something. We obviously went through a lot but in such a short amount of time. I know, like Andre said "it takes two to tango" but I always feel a need to apologize to you. But, besides all that. You are always a lot of fun to be around:) because you are just in a good mood all the time. You are very inspirational when it comes to learning about God. And you are nothing like your brother. I remember how mad you got when someone told you were were like him. But you aren't. Like I said about Andre, our wrestle fights were always super fun. I got hurt most of the time but it was still fun. It's so funny to listen to you argue because you are so good at it. It's a shame that we never talk anymore, but I hope that everything goes well with you.

Kaleb: KALEB! your hair r00lz and you are so nice. You are the only guy I know that is like legit. sweet all the time, 24/7. I'm happy that I know you, because it lets me know that there is hope in this world. I am so embarrassed about what happened at Juliana's that night:( it was pretty funny though.

Paloma: You are so fun to be around! I'm always in a better mood when I'm with you and I'm happy that I have some one in my life who is always so happy even when something goes wrong.

Brad: B-RADDDDD! you are steeze. you can finally say it now since i'm leaving. STEEZE! bahaha. I'm going to miss you and your conceitedness.

David: Wow you are the sweetest person in the world. you are so nice all the time. I'm talkin' GENUINE niceness. none of that fake shit. I can tell you anything and not feel ashamed. I can talk black to you and you make me feel cool when I do it. You always complement me. I'm happy I know you, I just wish we could have known each other better.


Why do I even care, it's not like you do.....:|

I'm excited to see Betsy again. I get to hang out with her on Friday, I think Britta will be there too. I'm not really positive. I never ever get to see them because they're always so busy. This is the last itme. I have 6 more days here. I'm actually quite sad that I'm leaving. I feel like I grew up here even though it was only two years. I feel like I've known everyone here for so long, and yet time flew by so fast. I remeber every detail of everything the first week I was here and now everything is so different and it's my last week. I'm happy to go back. but this is going to suck. I know anxiety is going to hit me like a big yellow bus as soon as I get there. I saw picture of the dorms on facebook. They're okay I guess. they don't look comfy or homey at all:( I don't like wood floors ugh. I feel like i'm being picky. but oh well I guess. it's my home for the next year and I'm going to have to deal with it. It's a really pretty campus though. It looks ginormous:0
and I'm going to have to walk everywhere. I'm going to be super fit ha. It's going to be weird though, everyone will be trying to settle in and basically I'm going to get there put my shit down and leave. ha. I'm going to try to bring a bunch of posters and stuff to put up so it doesn't look so boring and dull. I hate white rooms. Like mine now for instance. but it's alright. I'll deal. I'm excited to meet new people:] college people seem to be more outgoing. aaah.
this is all so crazy. I can't believe I'm going to college. I keep talking to all these people from Georgia that I haven't talked to in so long. This all feels like a dream. and some nights, even a nightmare. speaking of which, I can never sleep anymore. I think it's pretty obvious why but it sucks. I really sleep MAYBE tops, about 5 hours a night. ugh. I need a boyfriend. ughh. :(

6 more mo' fuckin' days SON.

Monday, 3 August 2009

I wish

I wish we could be on good terms.

I hate that this is all I keep thinking about.

I feel a bit better, I just skyped with my besfraaan<3

6 more days.

Sunday, 2 August 2009

The Truth

I want to leave. Everything that used to make me so happy, now makes me want to crawl under the covers and cry. I love that I am becoming so close to people, except now I have to leave. I want to leave, but I don't.

I wish people didn't have to make things so difficult. I care so much and all you want to do is make me mad. You complain that I'm mad all the time and apologize for pissing me off so much. And then you go and do and TRY to make things worse. It's really just making me reminisce how different of a person you were. I remember the first time I hung out with you without your friends. My brother was there to make it awkward and we both wished he wasn't. It was just us, and you were so sweet and innocent. I may have made mistakes, but I am still the same person. It's a shame how differently we view each other from how we used to. I will always remember you as how you were. I wish you would do the same. You could do whatever you want to to hurt me, and I would still want you in my life. You told me I would always be yours, somehow or another. I feel like you didn't keep your promise.

"the truth is you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"

7 More days.


is that really necessary?
the answer to that would be no.

this is our adventure

this is Juliana and I singing Boats and birds.

and this is us being ourselves....ha.

8 more days.

Saturday, 1 August 2009

Still Alive

Everything is getting to be so much easier.
I am at Juliana's and have only acquired two hours of sleep. it's 10:19 in the morning and I'm doing okay. Last night was fun, time flew by so fast. First we made a video, and then Brad showed up and we went back to Juliana's. We took pictures. We made another video. We went back to her house again. The we were invited over to a sausage fest at Austin's house, haha. There were so many guys....It was kind of fun though:]. We sort of stole Marcus and Tim's hats, and took pictures with them. We ended up getting kicked out of his house, and then Juliana was really paranoid cause we kind of snuck out. It was like 3 in the morning though. It was fun:] We came back to her house and edited one of the movies. I'm still working on the other one. I might stay the night again;D

9 more days.

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