:)

this has been the best weekend I've had in a long.....long time.


<3

"Sometimes"

maybe I can change that to always.

Man Oh Man

I just got the sweeeeeeetest comment from someone I didn't expect to ! but, he talks to me a lot more now, it's probably not as awkward as it was before.....and I think he can agree. haha.
I miss my England friends so much! I cannot wait to see them again next summer:)

Woah, last night was crazy! that's all I gotta say. I left a lot of details out when I told James. haha. I'm not sure what's up with 27 year olds these days. hahahaahaha...

I get to See the Fall of Troy and Minus the Bear:) I'm so excited. that one, I'm going to FERSURE. people keep inviting me to go to concerts, and then I don't really know if I'm going. or I get mean mugged from their girl friends cause they talk to me a lot. about the show. and then they stop talking to me....cause of their girlfriend haha.

I get to see all my theatre friends perform in Almost, Maine tonight! I'm so excited! I think they'll do so well.

I am in such a good mood:)

x

Everything that I could ever need

Today started out the WORST!
but I have some amazing friends, and I couldn't ask for anything more.
boys make me so mad sometimes !
it's like ya'll all secretly made a packed to do the same thing to meeee !
crack heads.
whatever.

I talked to all my favorite people today!
I called Kelly also, and I feel better:)
x

!@#$^&*

This same thing happens over and over and over and over


...and over.
it's like when I don't try and it finally comes along, and then I try to keep it,...and I lose it.
how many times does this have to happen to me?
I know I've fucked up in the past but, really? how many times...does this have to happen.
this has been like the most miserable week I've had in such a long time.
I want to go home so bad and forget about all the bad things in my life and see my best friends again.
Jeffrey made me excited for that, he's good at cheering me up
So is Matt and Kelly.



someone, buy me a car.



:(

& I said, "I would try for you"

I miss having someone.
I miss my best friend.
I'm seriously going to start working out more.
I don't want the freshman 15:(
and I'm not talking about the band.
laundry takes way too long here.
some st00pid was trying to compete his music with mine, uh, lame.
Kanye is a meanbean for what he said to Taylor Swift! I would've cried.
I'm kinda mad at someone, but I guess I should take my brothers advice about it.
And Kelly told me what to do and how to handle it;) cause she is good at these things.
Only one class tomorrow, and then I'm photographing some head shots of Jeffrey and then going to walgreens to develop them:)
and I need to reserve a ticket for Almost, Maine. I'm excited to see all my friends preform:)
Ugh, I'm so angry I'm not in England to be there for Bethany.
Everyone always blows up at her all at once, and then she has no one to run to.
I wish I was there to give her a huge hug and tell her everything's going to be okay.
I miss club beyond and Dale's talks with us. He was always my favorite speaker.
I'm prayin' for Bethany.
Speaking of which, I've been reading the bible pretty much every night lately. It puts me in a better mood.
I wish I had someone.
I think about that all the time lately.
hmm.

x

Explosions in the Sky

It's 3:00 am, it's raining and I have no one to cuddle with. hmm.
I cannot wait till the 10th of October. I just found out someone from England that lives here now, know people that I have just recently met. This is such a small world.
I like the phrase "moo cow" that my cousin says. I makes me shmmile:)
I might be going to Florida to see A Day to Remember and I See Stars. Who knows though I guess.
I'm so afraid of change.
I sometimes wish things could be like they were before summer of 2008.
those were good times; those were happy times.
we were care free, and I miss that.
I'm so consumed with having this surreal mindset that....I honestly don't know how to describe or put into words.
I have changed.
What am I doing wrong?
I never feel as if I am good enough for the people I want to keep in my life.
I feel like all the wrong people go for me, and I go for all the wrong people.
maybe I don't, but I am bad at keeping them.
Kelly told me I will find someone, and I hope she is right.
I miss how things used to be,
but I'm glad things changed, I needed it.
I talked to Drew and John Cooper today! that made me pretty happy because I honestly can't usually carry on a good conversation with them, unless it's in person. John said he got quieter, which is weird to think about. I miss "Johndre" haha, they were always fun.
I am so sleepy now. I don't like sleeping alone. So I stay up until I just pass out.
which I think is about to happen.


sweet dreams,
x